He outwitted the Bearded One by letting him punch him clear through the Rusty Nails and Broken Glass Factory, causing him to land right next to the most enormous gun in the world.
He could have gone via the Pillows, Marshmallows and Friendship factory, but Bruce's plans only work if he's greviously injured while executing them. And if he's in a vest that was white at some point.
chuck norris died before the creation of the universe. his body became this world. the current norris shall in time, die and his body shall be a new world, on which another norris shall live.
I actually physically removed my childrens' pee glands, so that they cannot physically pee. They excrete liquid waste through their skin. It was a little risky, but totally worth it.
The space butterfly effect: Where a butterfly flaps its wings in China, and sends a ripple of cause in every single direction around the universe, and (because of the shape of the universe) all that cause is focused onto said butterfly, causing it to explode like a nuclear bomb.
Oh you fwooshie fwooshie bib bib, fwooshie fwooshie bib bib we love you and our fwooshie fwooshie bib, bib fwooshie fwooshie bib bib loves us too.
Hey ho everywhere we go on fwooshie fwooshie we depend.Bib bib fwooshie fwooshie bib bib our fine four findered frieeeeend...Bib bib fwooshie fwooshie bib bib our fine four fiiiiiinderrrrred frieeeeend...
Why...why did this just happen? It's bad enough that a bunch of kids got caught in a net - I was already having a Child Catcher-induced paranoia attack.
well... you'll have to forgive me. i'm spanish and i'm lost about your reply... would you be nice and explain me wtf does it means? i found a japanese web for /4chan and i don't get where the trap is in it...
Comments - page: 1 2 3 4 5
Brendan (+84)
3 months ago
Rated +20
I like to think that this si also the protocol for imminent colliding stellar objects.
"Sir, the meteor is approaching!"
"DEPLOY THE ENORMOUS BUTTERFLY NET"
DoggFather (+106)
3 months ago
Rated +3
Back in the Sixties, some joker programmed the auto-Space Defense Protocol to be:
10: Deploy Space Butterfly-Net
20: GOTO 10
Unfortunately, no one knows how to undo it. This is one of the reasons why Bruce Willis had to legally change his name to Space Butterfly-Net.
Dog Breath (+2416) (mod)
3 months ago
Rated +2
Mothra is NOT amused!
DoggFather (+106)
3 months ago
Rated +2
Mothra vs. Bruce Space Butterfly-Net Willis! Taking all bets.
Dog Breath (+2416) (mod)
3 months ago
Rated +2
Chuck Norris just kicked himself in the balls three times.
DoggFather (+106)
3 months ago
Rated +2
The resulting shockwave killed an old woman and destroyed a puppy orphanage.
Dog Breath (+2416) (mod)
3 months ago
Rated +1
But it was the most awesome thing you ever saw.
Bruce willis is saying something pithy.
DoggFather (+106)
3 months ago
Rated +1
He's feeling too old for all this. Which is the state of mind that unlocks his latent invulnerability.
Dog Breath (+2416) (mod)
3 months ago
Rated 0
Yippie Kiyae Chuck Norris's torn scrote.
DoggFather (+106)
3 months ago
Rated +2
He outwitted the Bearded One by letting him punch him clear through the Rusty Nails and Broken Glass Factory, causing him to land right next to the most enormous gun in the world.
He could have gone via the Pillows, Marshmallows and Friendship factory, but Bruce's plans only work if he's greviously injured while executing them. And if he's in a vest that was white at some point.
Dog Breath (+2416) (mod)
3 months ago
Rated +2
Chuck Norris refuses to bleed.
Bruce Willis bleeds on purpose but only enough to create the desired visual effect.
Bruce Willis flys through the air screaming for no apparent reason.
DoggFather (+106)
3 months ago
Rated +1
It's a little known fact that Willis hates white vests. He allows himself to bleed in order to dye them.
And everything he does faster than an amble is accompanied by a scream of frustration. Norris is, of course, implacable.
nexttwelveexits (+207)
3 months ago
Rated +1
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the Periodic Table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
sarcasmic (+60)
3 months ago
Rated +1
chuck norris died before the creation of the universe. his body became this world. the current norris shall in time, die and his body shall be a new world, on which another norris shall live.
this is refered to as the circle of life.
Brendan (+84)
3 months ago
Rated +2
Why do my top-level comments always spawn such terrible threads? Blessing and a curse I suppose.
sarcasmic (+60)
3 months ago
Rated +1
its what happens on teh interwebs!!!1
MoonHitler (+36)
3 months ago
Rated +1
Like way too many Chuck Norris jokes.
Dog Breath (+2416) (mod)
3 months ago
Rated +1
100 years from now after the great internet crash of 2065 people will argue whether Chuck Norris was a real person or just a myth.
He will have stories told of his defeat of global warming and the day he made Superman cry, but there still will not be too many Chuck Norris jokes.
MoonHitler (+36)
3 months ago
Rated 0
Even so, one can be too many.
nexttwelveexits (+207)
3 months ago
Rated +2
Chuck Norris drives a Mazda Miada. It's sensible for his needs, and it gets reasonable gas mileage.
sarcasmic (+60)
3 months ago
Rated +1
or people named MoonHitler. im jewish. not funny.
MoonHitler (+36)
3 months ago
Rated +1
The name wasn't meant to offend.
http://www.weebls-stuff.com/onthemoon/
sarcasmic (+60)
3 months ago
Rated +1
ah. good. you are apologized and may now go cry into a 20 dollar bill.
MoonHitler (+36)
3 months ago
Rated +1
...What?
sarcasmic (+60)
3 months ago
Rated +1
what?
Fosjam (+34)
3 months ago
Rated +13
And this is why I tell my kids to pee before they leave the house.
Noc (+19)
3 months ago
Rated +8
This is why I tell my kids to pee before they leave the atmosphere.
GobyCow (+97)
3 months ago
Rated +2
This is why I tell my kids to pee before they leave the solar system.
nexttwelveexits (+207)
3 months ago
Rated +5
This is why I tell my kids never to pee.
GobyCow (+97)
3 months ago
Rated +2
I actually physically removed my childrens' pee glands, so that they cannot physically pee. They excrete liquid waste through their skin. It was a little risky, but totally worth it.
Dog Breath (+2416) (mod)
3 months ago
Rated +1
Is it hot out or did you just have a large fanta?
becky (+232)
3 months ago
Rated 0
This is why I stopped giving my kids anything to eat or drink, thereby ensuring that they will never ever have to pee, ever.
GobyCow (+97)
3 months ago
Rated +2
Ah, good old fashioned child abuse. That's the best kind.
Dog Breath (+2416) (mod)
3 months ago
Rated +1
Yes, much worse that pee-glandectomy surgery.
Night Owl (+264)
3 months ago
Rated +3
Suddenly, Forcing them to wear colostomy bags while riding in a car to save time seems kind and generous in comparison.
Magician (+82)
3 months ago
Rated +1
They are obeying all the rules of the Boy Scouts. In space.
Dog Breath (+2416) (mod)
3 months ago
Rated +6
In space no one can hear you pee.
nexttwelveexits (+207)
3 months ago
Rated +2
In space, everyone can see you pee.
Magician (+82)
3 months ago
Rated 0
I suppose I shouldn't be surprised space babies' voices carry through space.
Hal (+2)
3 months ago
Rated +2
In space, no one can hear you pee dance.
GobyCow (+97)
3 months ago
Rated +3
I'm sorry Daisy. I'm afraid I can't do that.
Mrakken (+84)
3 months ago
Rated +1
Also, "Can't let you do that Star-Baby"
zetoastking (+342)
3 months ago
Rated +1
So it's YOUR fault I haven't been meeting my quota...
ShamWow (+28)
3 months ago
Rated +4
But you have no idea how *CUTE* those space babies looked trying to run in zero gravity!
Dog Breath (+2416) (mod)
3 months ago
Rated +1
Pilot to Copilot, deploy space baby net.
Eye Captain.
Make it so.
Now I have to pee.
Hold it.
smackofham (+28)
3 months ago
Rated +4
Where's the space jar when you need it?
MdNGhT (+42)
3 months ago
Rated 0
It's at the third compartment to your right.
MdNGhT (+42)
3 months ago
Rated +3
So space babies are caught by butterfly nets.
MadEddy (+3)
3 months ago
Rated +1
They're space butterfly nets, usually employed in catching space butterflies but also useful in case of space babies.
Jonny (+1492)
3 months ago
Rated +2
Yeah, gotta watch out for those goddamn space butterflies.
vgracebutterfly (+19)
3 months ago
Rated +2
The butterfly effect is a quadrillion times worse with space butterflies.
MoonHitler (+36)
3 months ago
Rated +2
The space butterfly effect: Where a butterfly flaps its wings in China, and sends a ripple of cause in every single direction around the universe, and (because of the shape of the universe) all that cause is focused onto said butterfly, causing it to explode like a nuclear bomb.
Not to mention all of the hurricanes.
Dog Breath (+2416) (mod)
3 months ago
Rated +3
It's OK, I trained a butterfly to stop hurricanes. Unfortunately it takes 99.99% of their life span to train them.
MoonHitler (+36)
3 months ago
Rated +2
A day?
amtriska (+226)
3 months ago
Rated +16
"Worst space bathroom I've ever seen."
"What, like poop on the seat? It's like, how does poop get on the seat, right?"
"No. Much much worse. Like, giant-space-butterfly-net worse."
Dog Breath (+2416) (mod)
3 months ago
Rated 0
Oh you fwooshie fwooshie bib bib, fwooshie fwooshie bib bib we love you and our fwooshie fwooshie bib, bib fwooshie fwooshie bib bib loves us too.
Hey ho everywhere we go on fwooshie fwooshie we depend.Bib bib fwooshie fwooshie bib bib our fine four findered frieeeeend...Bib bib fwooshie fwooshie bib bib our fine four fiiiiiinderrrrred frieeeeend...
brichins (+365)
3 months ago
Rated +3
Another childhood memory violated...
becky (+232)
3 months ago
Rated +2
Why...why did this just happen? It's bad enough that a bunch of kids got caught in a net - I was already having a Child Catcher-induced paranoia attack.
Rainfly_X (+272)
3 months ago
Rated 0
Not to mention it being electrified. So at this point Cooper and I are the only survivors.
Emergent (+40)
3 months ago
Rated +7
I love the way a little moon on the door identifies that satellite as a space bathroom.
JhubeJello (+4)
3 months ago
Rated +1
It's the sign that divides Martians from Moonlords.
I don't think humans are supposed to use them, let alone space babies.
Princewolf (+411)
3 months ago
Rated +3
The moon on the handicapped space bathroom has a little wheelchair.
Dog Breath (+2416) (mod)
3 months ago
Rated +2
Rocket chair Princewolf, rocket chair.
Your wheels are useless in space. MMMOOooooohahahahahahahaha!!!!
nexttwelveexits (+207)
3 months ago
Rated +2
Space outhouse...?
Princewolf (+411)
3 months ago
Rated +2
Outerspace house.
2me (+1703) (mod)
3 months ago
Rated 0
Outhouse of the earth?
nexttwelveexits (+207)
3 months ago
Rated 0
Spouthouse?
Gacob (+21)
1 month ago
Rated 0
Spouter House?
friendlybus (+28)
3 months ago
Rated +2
Aries I-X went up and now this one too. Pretty sweet day today.
drgs100 (+17)
3 months ago
Rated +4
This is my secret fear.
Belgarion (+2)
3 months ago
Rated +2
Not anymore.
Dog Breath (+2416) (mod)
3 months ago
Rated +1
Her secret secret fear was having someone point that out.
drgs100 (+17)
3 months ago
Rated +1
Meep.
becky (+232)
3 months ago
Rated +1
Secret? Hell, I let everybody know about this fear so they can plan accordingly! Do you have any idea how often this situation crops up?
mdemussol (+4)
3 months ago
Rated +2
so that's why cooper and daisy are always so serious... they lost their brothers in a giantspacebutterflynet's surprise attack!
Dog Breath (+2416) (mod)
3 months ago
Rated +2
IT'S A TRAP!
/4chan
mdemussol (+4)
3 months ago
Rated 0
well... you'll have to forgive me. i'm spanish and i'm lost about your reply... would you be nice and explain me wtf does it means? i found a japanese web for /4chan and i don't get where the trap is in it...
Dog Breath (+2416) (mod)
3 months ago
Rated 0
It's an internet Meem.
http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&source=hp&q=it'a%20a%20trap&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi
4chan is a meem superfactory
sukino (+28)
3 months ago
Rated +3
They probably going to ditch those two. After all, this is space trip, not a road trip.
Comments - page: 1 2 3 4 5
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